The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach? Thank goodness that isn’t implicitly true otherwise this blog would be titled Confections of a Lonely Foodie. The first time I cooked for my husband… it was nothing short of a disaster.
There is plenty of merit in the saying, though. A supporting theory, some fond memories, and a fantastic cookie recipe rediscovered – all in honor of my old roommate:
How to Impress A Boy
- 1. Tell The Boy that you love to cook and bake, even if the only hot food you’ve ever produced came in a Lean Cuisine box. I mean, c’mon. You just met. What’s a little white lie to start out a relationship? It scored you an invite to The Boy’s cookout and that’s all that counts.
- 2. Rush home, shouting “Emergency! E-MER-GEN-CYYYY!” as you bust through the door. Scare the crap out of your roommate. And then beg. Your roommate must understand that this is a matter of life and death. She just has to bake something for you. And quick! The Boy’s cookout starts in a couple of hours. Lucky for you, she agrees… even if she only did so because she had to know just how cute A Boy has to be to create such desperation.
- 3. Take a plate of your roommate’s still warm Chocolate Chunk Cookies over to The Boy’s house – and don’t forget to bring your roommate along! Not many bakers would pause her game of Madden in the middle of an undefeated season to bake cookies for Some Boy she’s never met.
- 4. Stand there, smile, and graciously take the compliments on those cookies ’cause girl, you earned it! All that standing there on the outskirts of that teeny tiny apartment kitchen, watching your roommate’s every move was mentally exhausting. All that measuring, flipping a mixer on and off, scooping… how on earth does she do it?! And when The Boy tells you that they’re the best cookies he’s ever had and his best friend exclaims, “It’s like a chocolate explosion in my mouth!” giggle and look down – modesty, even when faked, goes a long way to impress The Boy and his friends.
- 5. Thank your roommate profusely because one can never say – or hear – “Thank you,” too many times! And don’t abuse your cookie dealer. Her concern is to continue getting half her rent paid, not to ensure you end up in faux-domestic bliss. Sorry
- 6. Keep your trap shut! Sure, it’s a funny story and your roommate and friends will endlessly make fun of you and The Emergency Cookies but don’t share your cookie secret ’til much later. Or, months after you and The Boy have broken up, should he email you for the recipe, it’s perfectly acceptable to tell him then that you’ve actually never baked a single cookie in your life. And it’s probably reinforcement that parting ways was the right decision, especially when he clearly misses “your” cookies more than you.
Salted Chocolate Chunk Cookies (aka, The Emergency Cookies)
Rich, chewy chocolate cookies studded with chocolate chunks and sea salt.
- 8 oz semisweet chocolate, roughly chopped
- 4 Tbsp unsalted butter
- 2/3 cup flour
- 1/2 tsp baking powder
- 1/2 rounded tsp sea salt
- 2 large eggs, room temp
- 3/4 cup packed light-brown sugar
- 1 tsp vanilla extract
- 12 oz semisweet chocolate, roughly chopped (or 1 package chocolate chunks)
- Sea salt, for garnish
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Prepare two baking sheets with parchment or silpat.
- Heat chopped chocolate and butter in a microwave-safe bowl in 25-second increments, stirring in between, until just melted. Whisk together the flour, baking powder, and salt and set aside.
- In the bowl of your mixer, beat eggs, brown sugar, and vanilla on high speed until the sugar has completely dissolved (4-5 minutes). Reduce speed to low and add the melted (and now, cooled) chocolate. Mix until uniform. Add the flour mixture until just combined. Mix in the chocolate chunks.
- Let dough sit 10 minutes - this will allow the chocolate to cool and prevent the cookies from spreading.
- Drop heaping tablespoons of dough 2 to 3 inches apart onto baking sheets. The dough should be very stiff and will hold the scooped round. If not, let it sit for a while or stick it in the fridge for 10 minutes. Bake, rotating sheets halfway through, until cookies are shiny and crackly yet still soft in centers, 10 to 12 minutes. Sprinkle additional salt on the cookies and cool on sheets 10 minutes. Transfer to racks to cool completely. Store cookies in an airtight container. Enjoy with a tall glass of ice cold milk.
Yields: 2 dozen cookies
Estimated time: 45 minutes